Love, Lie, Learn
by live.in.l0v3
Summary: Post "Funk": Love was never easy, lies are always in the way, and learning is always the hardest part of any experience. What's going to happen now that Jesse left? What curveballs are coming her way? St. Berry. Characterization is a bit different.
1. Chapter 1

Hello to all! This is my very first attempt at a fanfic, so please be nice! This is purely a St. Berry story. So I hope you all enjoy!

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own _Glee_, the characters, or any of the songs/musicals mentioned

_I loved you._

It was all Rachel could hear as the feels the eggs dripping down her entire being; down her hair, her back, her face, and she was trying to hold back the tears threatening to escape as Jesse and Vocal Adrenaline drove out of McKinley High's parking lot. The pain of her heartbreak was all consuming, and all she wanted to do was to go home and cry in her bed.

She couldn't face the others again after today, as they were already less than thrilled with her.

_*** Flashback to earlier that day ***_

Vocal Adrenaline's rendition of Queen's _Another One Bites The Dust_ shook the entire club to the bone. There was no way that they were ever going to compare to them by the time Regionals came around. Rachel's mind was still reeling from the influx of information that she just received: Jesse had moved back to Carmel High and subsequently Vocal Adrenaline as well, they had just demonstrated their impeccable talent to the club, proving that they we indeed still the powerhouse they were once, and lastly, that Jesse had just pushed her to the side indirectly telling her that they were over.

The shaken club entered their choir room and saw nothing but white streamers dangling from every possible surface. Vocal Adrenaline had a momentary lapse in their maturity levels and had TPed their choir room. They all groaned and grabbed the trash cans and began to tug at the hanging toilet paper. Of course when Coach Sylvester comes in and proudly admits to letting Vocal Adrenaline in, Rachel had the sudden urge to out the toilet paper to better use… that's right, ball it up and throw it at the ridiculously arrogant coach.

Once Coach Sylvester left the room, of course not without a broken trophy on the floor, the majority of the club proceeded to glare at the back of Rachel's head while she was picking up the scattered toilet paper.

"You know it's all your fault that this happened." Kurt decided to be the first one to speak up on behalf of the club. "If you didn't decide to cross over to enemy lines and date Satan we wouldn't be in this position."

"W-w-what?" was all Rachel had manage to sputter before Santana decided to continue.

"We told you he was a spy. Every single one of us, but no you just _had_ to stick up for him and prove to us that he was a _"respectable guy"_ right?"

"Regionals is a few weeks away, and we _knew_ he was going to sabotage us, and you let him!" Kurt spoke up once again.

"B-b-but he transferred here and YOU all let him into the club. I had no part in making him more from Vocal Adrenaline and…" Rachel was cut off

"But if you didn't get involved with him in the first place, then nothing would have happened. If you had just broken things up _for the sake of the team_ then we'd still be fine!" Finn finally spoke up, bitter resentment and spite in his tone.

The club muttered their agreement and began to speak one on top of the other. The voices meshed together and seemed to get louder and louder tempting to swallow Rachel up with hurtful words.

"Guys! Stop it. It's not Rachel's fault!" Mr. Schuester yelled. "She didn't know that Jesse was going to pull a stunt like this, you know that she wouldn't do that to you. She puts her heart and soul into this club every rehearsal."

Rachel's head was spinning. She didn't know what she was going to do. She knew that she had to get out of the choir room and **fast**. She couldn't stand around in a room where people were insulting her and calling her a liar. Her pride and self-esteem couldn't survive much more.

She stormed out of the room, faintly hearing Artie's sarcastic "Her dramatic exits are becoming less and less effective, you know" and the teasing laughs of the other glee clubbers.

She ran into the bathroom and locked herself in one of the tiny stalls, wiping the few tears that had managed to escape and clinging to her knees as she rocked on the toilet seat.

"Rachel? Are you in here?" she hears the foreign kindness in Quinn Fabray's voice. It was almost as if she cared.

"No." Rachel sniffled out, trying to hold back the myriad of tears that were threatening to escape again. She heard a tap on the door she was behind and unlocked it.

Quinn Fabray had never seen the proud Rachel Berry cry, nor had she ever anticipated it in her life. She was at a total loss; she didn't know what to do or how to comfort the crying girl.

"Um… it's gonna be okay Rachel. They're just mad and taking out their anger on you. I'm sure it'll blow over in a few hours. Why don't you just take the rest of the day off and go home?"

"I" sniffle "can't" Rachel managed to get out. "I have a test in History that I can't miss. Can you just tell everyone that I'll see them later?"

"Yeah, sure." Quinn helped up the crying girl and led her out the bathroom, and they walked in opposite directions: one back to the choir room and one upstairs to her class.

_***end of flashback***_

The rest of the day came and went for Rachel until she received Jesse's call. She ran outside to the parking lot, and began to run to him as soon as her eyes found his handsome face. Then all of a sudden she was pelted with eggs, and he uttered the words that still lingered in her confused brain:

_I loved you._

Rachel drives home; her heart broken into millions of tiny sharp pieces, her entire being covered in baby chicken fetuses. She didn't know how she was going to go on the rest of the week. The boy she loves and thought loved her back just publicly humiliated and broke her, and the club that she whole heartedly leaned on for support turned her back on her with the exception of a few members: Quinn, Tina, and most surprising of all, Puck. Apparently while she was rocking in the tiny bathroom stall, they had all spoken on her behalf, defending her actions, understanding that she believed in the good of Jesse St. James.

Thankfully, when she arrived home her fathers weren't there. She didn't want to have to explain to them that the boy they had come to really like for their daughter was actually the very person that was responsible for her less than stellar appearance. Her dads had never liked Puck or Finn, saying that they were both _no good for their little girl_, but immediately took a liking for Jesse, loving his charm and his cunning wit.

She unlocked the door to her house, went inside, and went upstairs to her bedroom's en suite bathroom and started up the shower. She grabs the iPod dock from her nightstand and turned on the only thing that could calm her down, her iPod. Music had always been her release, and she needed it now more than ever.

She peels off the crusty clothing on her back and steps into the comforting heat of the shower. She lets the warm water cascade down her sticky body and relax her muscles. All of a sudden, the familiar melody is floating throughout the steaming room, a melody that causes her to finally break down, her body is convulsing and she can't stop the pain, her salty tears mingling with the pure water falling from the shower head.

_I've been alone with you inside my mind_

_And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times_

_I sometimes see you pass outside my door_

_Hello, is it me you're looking for?_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_I can see it in your smile_

_You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide_

'_Cause you know just what to say_

_And you know just what to do_

_And I want to tell you so much, I love you …_

_I long to see the sunlight in your hair_

_And tell you time and time again how much I care_

_Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow_

_Hello, I've just got to let you know_

'_Cause I wonder where you are_

_And I wonder what you do_

_Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?_

_Tell me how to win your heart_

_For I haven't got a clue_

_But let me start by saying, I love you …_

_Hello, is it me you're looking for?_

'_Cause I wonder where you are_

_And I wonder what you do_

_Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?_

_Tell me how to win your heart_

_For I haven't got a clue_

_But let me start by saying … I love you _

The pain is as all consuming as it was in the parking lot, only this time she was not only dealing with the love of her life leaving her, but the memories that they both shared in their short-lived but passionate relationship.

By the time she gets out of the shower, she's a prune, a mess, and the water is cold. She turns off the iPod and walks back into her room, her dirty clothes in her hands. She takes the dirty clothes to the laundry, with every intention of washing them that minute, however, the ringing of the doorbell stops her.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It means a lot! Here's chapter 2. Sorry for the long paragraphs and short chapters. Enjoy!

I don't own _Glee_, or any of its characters, or _The Hunchback of Notre Dame: The Musical_

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**Chapter 2**

Rachel cautiously approaches the door, trying to peek through the windows to see who's behind it. She slowly unlocks the door and opens is. Standing before her are Tina Chang, Quinn Fabray, and to her surprise, Noah Puckerman. She opens the door a little wider and they silently enter the Berry household, an awkward silence hanging in the air.

They all stare at each other for what seemed like hours, Quinn occasionally rubbing her bulging belly lovingly. Puck, who is sitting next to Quinn, has his arm around her staring blankly at his surroundings, while Tina opens her mouth only to close it soon afterwards.

Rachel suddenly has the urge to go to the bathroom; bile is rising up her throat and it's coming at an alarmingly fast rate and she barely makes it there. She shudders as she feels whatever was residing in her belly empty out into the porcelain bowl. Quinn rushes to the bathroom to help her, knowing how much support she had wanted while she was upchucking the contents of her stomach.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asks once Rachel is done. "Never mind, stupid question."

"I-I-I-I'm fine. Just trying to take everything in all at once seems to not have a great effect on my body that's all." Rachel says.

They both make their way out of the bathroom and face the concerned looks coming from Tina and Puck.

"Do you want to talk about it Rachel?" Tina meekly asks, not wanting to overstep her boundaries. "About what happened? In the choir room… and afterwards?"

"You mean when Vocal Adrenaline decided to pelt me with the unborn fetuses of baby chickens? Or when the entire club that I helped build turned their backs on me and decided to rub more salt on my freshly opened wounds?" Rachel sarcastically asked, but wanted to take back when she saw the hurt look on Tina's face. "I'm sorry Tina. It's just a lot to take in in one day. I just… can't believe that I was that _stupid_."

Rachel threw herself on her couch and covered her eyes with her arm in a very dramatic Rachel Berry manner.

"Look Berry, everyone does stupid things. People make mistakes, it's normal." Puck told her. "Even you. You are a person after all. And sure, we did warn you about him, but sometimes you have to make the mistake yourself to understand."

The three ladies in the room stared at Puck, gaping like a bunch of fish. They never though they would ever hear the infamous Noah Puckerman say something so sage and that actually made sense. Evidently people are surprising creatures and they all have their moments.

"Ahem.. Puck is right… that's something I _never_ thought I'd ever say… Don't worry about the others. They just needed to blow off some steam. They'll be okay by tomorrow." Quinn said trying to be.

"Thanks for coming over. I really appreciate it, I didn't think that any of you liked me very much because of my pathological need to be correct and my bossy attitude coupled with my need to have complete perfection." Rachel said.

"Well… we've learned to… appreciate? those qualities in you Rachel. They have driven us to success, and you're not really that bad." Tina says, hoping to cheer up the depressed star.

There were more moments of silence. The three visitors had been there for at least an hour already, but they had accomplished nothing. Quinn looked at the antique clock on Rachel's wall. It was nearing 17:00.

"Rachel we're so sorry, but Puck and I've got to go now. We have a doctor's appointment that we can't miss; we've been postponing it for weeks now. We'll see you tomorrow at school okay?" Quinn said. "If you need anything, call us."

"I should be going too. I just wanted to come by and talk for a bit, see if you're doing alright." Tina said apologetically.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I just need to lie down for a bit. Maybe eat something and watch some TV. I've still got to watch the musical version of _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_. I hear it's amazing." Rachel said, trying to be enthusiastic, while showing her guests out.

Once they all left, Rachel went to do her forgotten laundry, and then decided to cube some fruit to eat. She was really hungry as she didn't eat anything during lunch but a piece of bread and some of the disgusting tomato soup in the cafeteria and she had just thrown it all up.

Cubed fruit in a bowl, she makes her way to her couch and puts the disc for _The Hunchback Of Notre Dame: The Musical_ into the DVD player and begins to watch the sad tale of the poor, deformed bell ringer who fell in love with a gypsy girl who couldn't see past his deformities.

The musical is spectacular, their rendition of _With Every Heartbeat _touching and passionate. She re-winded that part several times and sung along with Esmeralda, understanding her pain and longing for Pheobus. It was definitely something that she could relate to. Esmeralda was in love with a man who didn't love her back, with a man who just used her for her body; she didn't feel worthy of his love.

_Since fate has sent you here to me_

_I have only loved you silently_

_So afraid I'd be unworthy of_

_Your everlasting love_

_And on the night you came to me_

_Risked your life for the whole world to see_

_How could I dare begin to let you know_

_How I loved you so_

_With every heartbeat I'll think of you_

_With every breath every sigh_

_Hoping someday you'll look at me_

_And see the girl inside_

_With every heartbeat I'll wait for you_

_Anticipating the time_

_We'll be together hand to heart_

_And true love will then be mine_

_Be mine_

Rachel always loved singing along while watching musicals, it was one of her ways to practice and to find parts that she would eventually play on Broadway in New York. However, right now, she wasn't singing to perfect her already perfect pitch, or practice for yet another future role, she was singing because she felt the words of the song; the pain and agony that one of the characters is feeling is exactly what she's feeling at this moment. The tears running down her already red cheeks were just emphasizing the feeling of her not being enough for him.

She loved…loves…. Jesse. She may have thought before that Finn was the one she was in love with, but his passive demeanor and disinterest in her nearing career in Broadway made it easy for her to move past him after their abrupt break up a few months ago. She was merely blinded by his old popularity and the fact that he could carry a tune amazingly well for a football player. Sure, he's nice enough but Jesse St. James eclipsed him in almost every way possible.

The arrival of Jesse St. James in her life was a welcomed one… sort of... He captivated her from their first meeting. While he is cocky, arrogant, and very self-assured, they were all qualities that she _thought_ she possessed, and they were qualities in many stars, which he, of course, clearly is. His charm and wit were one of the things that first rendered her speechless, as well as his perfectly coiffed hair, chiseled jaw, blue eyes and _**amazing**_ body. The only thing that could surpass any of these things is his talent. He is one of the most talented people Rachel knows. His voice is flawless and divine. The richness of it always takes her breath away. He is **definitely** going to be a star on Broadway in the future. His years at UCLA are only going to help him get better than he already is.

Just thinking about him is painful for her. His perfect voice that soothed her whenever she needed comfort, his bright smile that makes her breath hitch. The thoughts of them singing together filled her mind and made the tears come again. Her emotions all over the place, she decided that she should clean herself up before her dads came home and found her in her state.

During dinner with her dads, she faked a smile and gave a fake, but detailed account of her day, so they wouldn't get suspicious. She then went upstairs to her room and changed into her most comfortable pajamas and laid down in her bed, trying to take her mind off the events that occurred today. The song, the choir room, the ambush, the egging. The thought of the egging brought more bile up her throat and had her running into the bathroom again.

What was going on with her?

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And there you have it! Chapter 2! Can anyone guess what's wrong? I hope you liked it! Chapter 3 is coming very very soon!

And if you haven't seen it already, there's a link to _With Every Heartbeat_ from _The Hunchback of Notre Dame: The Musical _on my profile. It's fantastic!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again! Chapter 3 is finally here! I think that this chapter is one of the most important, in regards to her status with the rest of the club. So… have fun!

Disclaimer: I don't own _Glee_ or its characters

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**Chapter 3**

Rachel woke up the next day hoping that yesterday was all a terrible dream. She'd always had such vivid dreams, ever since she was a child. She once dreamed that she was on the Broadway stage in her Elphaba get up, singing _Defying Gravity_ powerfully. She was six years old. Her dreams were bound to get more detailed as she grew up.

However, when she rushed to the bathroom to empty more bile from her throat, she knew that it was all real, that it did happen, and that she was indeed all alone, with no Jesse to comfort her. She suddenly felt like bawling again; the kind of uncontrollable bawling that wouldn't stop for hours and had her hiccupping by the end of it. But she held it all in. she didn't want to give anyone the satisfaction of breaking her down. She brushed her teeth, changed into a comfortable high waisted skirt and top with her flats on her feet.

Head held up high, she walked into the halls of McKinley High, bag in tow. Since the beginning of her freshman year, she knows to always come to school prepared, and by that, she means extra clothing. Getting slusheed is one of the things that never disappoint her. I happened every day… at least that was before Jesse was there. Once Jesse had begun going to school there, it had stopped, and for about 2 months, she lived in bliss.

Today, however, she knew it was inevitable that I happen again. She no longer has a protector. Finn and Puck never bothered to stop it when they were sort-of going out, and the only person who did stand up for her… well he just wasn't there.

She rounded the corner to her locker. Nothing had happened yet. Pulling her books out of her locker, she looked at the photo of her and Jesse taken at one of those tiny photo booths at the mall. They were really happy that day. It was right after school, the day he transferred to McKinley.

Rachel suddenly felt a whole wave of emotions flooding through her tiny being. She was completely heartbroken, totally pissed off, disappointed, and lastly… hungry. Odd. She was never hungry at that time of day. Her breakfast must not have been big enough. She pulled out one of the cereal bars from her bag after she slammed the metal door of her locker closed.

She opened the cereal bar wrapper and as soon as she did, she felt the disgustingly cold and sticky slushee dripping down her front. The cold corn syrup stinging her eyes and the ice taking the temperature down several degrees. She heard the rancorous laughter coming from the surrounding students, but all she could think of was finding the closest bathroom, because she could feel bile threatening to escape her mouth.

Running, she found the nearest bathroom and emptied her stomach for the second time today. Thankfully, she brought her bag with the extra change of clothes in it. She washes up as best she can and bravely steps out of the bathroom when she's done.

The first thing she sees is Quinn with a concerned look on her face approaching her. She also has a speculative look in her eye, as Rachel wasn't telling her something, something very important.

"Hi Rachel." She says softly. "How was the rest of your afternoon yesterday?"

"It was good" Rachel replies just as softly. More silence. "The musical was great" she adds with false enthusiasm.

"Have you called him? Or has he called yet?"

"No."

"Okay."

Puck then appears, wrapping his arm around Quinn, and Rachel can't stand looking at them, because while she does support their strange and complicated relationship, they are just a constant reminder of her heartbreak.

"I'll… um… see you later during Glee rehearsal." Rachel hurriedly says and walks to her class.

It was finally the end of the day and time for Glee. Rachel's hoping that the others have had time to blow off their steam, that they would finally apologize, or come to a truce in regards to Jesse. But once she sees the looks on the faces of her fellow glee clubbers, she knows that it's not the case.

The glares cut through her. Quinn and the other two who actually supported her weren't there yet, along with Mr. Shuester, and she had never felt so alone in her life.

"You actually had the nerve to show up? You cause us so much crap and then you don't bother to show up yesterday for rehearsal, and you even have the guts to come in?" Mercedes was unusually harsh in her words. Murmurs of agreement were spreading throughout the group.

"You didn't heed our clever warnings and break up with him, and by not showing up yesterday, you have clearly proven to us that you have every intention of screwing us over when you aren't emotionally stable." Kurt said.

"W-w-w-what? What does that even mean?" Rachel angrily sputtered out, completely confused.

"What he means is that you aren't as invested in this club as the rest of us are." Santana piped in while filing her nails.

Rachel's jaw probably dropped ten meters under the earth. Incredulous, that's what described her at that moment. She probably looked like a gaping goldfish, her mouth hanging open and her eyes near bulging out of their sockets.

"Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?" She yells, he anger getting the best of her.

The rest of the club look at her in surprise. She's not known to curse at anything, in any given situation.

"I practically built this club from the bottom! I am one of the foundations of this club! I've supported the club, through everything, Through Quinn and Finn's drama, Puck and Quinn's drama, Mercedes and Kurt's! I've done nothing but help this club get better and better! How do you think we won Sectionals?" Rachel angrily exclaims.

"Wait a minute, you didn't do anything during Sectionals! It was Finn who did the work! Who drove up and gave us a song, all you did was steal my ballad!" Mercedes was also getting mad now.

"_Steal your ballad?_ What are you talking about? The _Jane Adams _girls stole your ballad! Or don't you remember Sue leaking our set list!"

"Whatever. We're not even talking about that now!" Kurt ignored Rachel's further look of incredulity. "We're talking about you and your lack of dedication to the Glee club."

"What everyone else is trying to say is that ever since Jesse's been here and left, you've been distracted from the club, not giving it your all and skipping yesterday's rehearsal didn't help." Finn said. "We just expect you to be at every rehearsal and giving 110% because it's your job as a leader."

"_Expect _me to be at every rehearsal? Because it's_ my job? _And all of you are suck _stellar_ examples of this right? Why with half of you not bothering to sing, and the others just belting out some half-assed singing? Pot, meet kettle." Rachel said sarcastically.

"You, as a self-proclaimed leader of this group have not been doing a great job of _leading_." Kurt said. "If you aren't going to do what Finn had so nicely said, then you're out. Like we told you before, _everyone is replaceable_."

"Fine, you want to give me ultimatums, then FINE! I quit!" and with that Rachel stormed out of the choir room, ignoring the yells of frustration and groans of protest.

"Rachel? What's going on?" Tina says hurriedly trying to catch up to her from behind, clearly not going what was going on.

"I quit glee club." Rachel said bluntly turning around to face the surprised Asian girl.

"What? Why? We need you! You're the best one we've got!"

"Because they gave me an ultimatum, while simultaneously accusing me of slacking off and they might as well have called me a traitorous bitch at the same time!" Rachel angrily spewed. "I'm going to go home Tina. I'm not really in the mood to deal with anymore of this right now. Tell Quinn I'm okay, and I'll call you both later."

Rachel got into her car and slammed the door. She turned on the radio and put on some angry music… her version of angry music being some heinous techno music [no offense to techno lovers], and began pull out of the parking lot.

_Nothing could possibly make my day worse! _She thought. That was until she got home and parked behind a very familiar and unwanted vehicle. A black Range Rover. And there was a boy leaning against it. That boy is Jesse St. James.

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Dun dun dun! Now what? I thought I should end the chapter here… I was going to continue, but it would interrupt the flow of things.

Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Here's chapter 4! DOUBLE POST! =] and Jesse's finally in this chapter! I love Jesse! I hate the way the writers ended Season 1. His drastic change in character really pissed me off!

For everyone who's asking whether or not Rachel is pregnant, you'll find out soon, and a background will follow for whatever the situation may be.

The language is a little more... crass... this chapter, and I'm not sure about the rating anymore... please tell me if it needs to change!

Same disclaimer applies!

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**Chapter 4**

Rachel got out of the car and slammed the door. She was fuming! _How dare he come here? The nerve!_

"I am not in the mood for this Jesse. I've had a _**very **_bad afternoon, and the fact that I have to see your smug face right now does not improve my mood!" She yelled as she stomped to her front door, with an amused Jesse following behind her. It was almost as if he was taunting her.

"Jesse, leave me alone! I don't want to see you, and quite frankly, I'm so close to tying your arrogant ass to a truck and have them drive through the most unsanitary and savage jungle so that your body can get clawed at by wild animals while sharp plant leaves leave deep gashes on your skin."

"Always with the dramatics I see. Though they are rather… bizarre." Jesse's cocky voice rang from behind her.

She turned around to face him.

"_**What do you want anyway?**_ You've got all that you've ever wanted! You've broken my heart, you have destroyed the confidence of New Directions, which I am no longer part of, you and your precious team _egged me_, and you have a full ride to UCLA where you will reach stardom! We already know that Vocal Adrenaline will win Regionals and then Nationals, so _**what do you want from me?**_" Rachel exclaimed, with tears running down her face. She didn't even she was crying. She was either really mad or really depressed, or both.

"You're not in New Directions anymore?" was apparently all Jesse got from Rachel's long and exhausting rant, his eyes glinting with amusement.

"No" she snapped, catching Jesse of guard, "I'm not, I quit today! And stop avoiding the question!"

"I just came to see how you were." He said nonchalantly.

Rachel saw red. "How the **fuck** would you expect me to be? You expect me to be okay? To be seeing the _magic _ and _beauty_ in the world right now?" she screamed sarcastically."Do you want to see the damage you caused?" She realized that she was still outside, and that her neighbors could probably hear whatever she was saying. She rushed to unlock the door, hoping to lock Jesse out. No luck, he stuck his foot between the door and the frame and waltzed into the house.

Rachel suddenly began bawling her eyes out. The flooding wouldn't stop. Rivers of tears were falling from her puffy eyes, her body was shaking, and she was hiccupping. She couldn't breathe properly because her breaths were coming out as gasps.

Jesse was suddenly alarmed. Her mood had completely changed; he'd gone from a pissed off Rachel Berry to a depressed, sobbing one. He didn't know what to do. He looked at the girl whose heart he broke and he knew no way to calm her down. He tried to put his arm around her but

"No! Don't touch me!" Rachel suddenly screamed, her mood, once again, shifting. "You don't get to comfort me after everything that you've done!" She suddenly stopped yelling, a splitting headache coming over her. She slowly went to her couch and sat down, trying to stop the room from spinning.

Jesse cautiously walked over to her. "Are you alright?" he asked with concern.

"No, I am not alright!" Rachel once again snaps, her mind still reeling. She suddenly gets the urge to throw up again and makes a dash for the bathroom.

Once she's done, she locks the door. She doesn't know what he wants. She doesn't want to see him, but at the same time, all she wants to do is run back into his arms and feel wanted again, loved, even if it was all a lie. She drags her hand down her face, hoping that will clear her head. Obviously, that didn't work.

While she's in the bathroom, she is fully hyper-aware of the fact that there was a completely gorgeous, infuriating man standing right on the other side of the door, and that he wouldn't leave if he didn't get what he wanted. He was nothing, if not persistent.

She calmly opened the door and bumped right into a really hard, black surface. That's right, right into Jesse St. James' beautifully sculpted chest, hidden by the black shirt that clung to him like a second skin. It took her a second to recover, reveling in his amazing natural scent mingled with cologne. She remembered all the times she had crashed into that same chest, but was feeling elated because she always saw happily amused eyes staring down at her afterwards.

She suddenly pulled back from Jesse's… chest… and walked over to her couch, feigning her Rachel Berry confidence. "So, I'm asking again. What. Do. You. Want?"

"I wanted to talk… about what happened… about why…" Jesse's voice trailed off, though keeping the cool _Jesse St. James_ demeanor.

"Oh, I can tell you _exactly_ what happened, Jesse St. James" he winced at his full name, "You seduced me, pretended to be in love with me, made all the people in my glee club hate me, and then you betrayed me! Rachel said bitterly. "That's what happened. But the _why? _Only you know the answer to that!"

"Look Rachel, first, you have to calm down. I won't explain anything if you're just going to interrupt me every minute. Okay?"

"Fine." Came Rachel's reluctant reply.

"Firstly, I've known all along that Shelby Corcoran is your mother. When we went to see your performance at sectionals, when you came out from behind the curtain at the back, her eyes immediately bugged out of her head. She grabbed the program, found out your name, and began to look green. I didn't understand what was wrong with her, until I saw your face. It was so familiar, and at first I couldn't place it, until I looked next to me. My eyes widened, and I knew. She wanted a chance you get to know you, but she couldn't approach you because of a contract that she signed with your dads; you had to be the one to find her."

Jesse took a deep breath, getting ready for the part that would anger her the most.

"Shelby approached me, seeing as I was the only one who knew the truth about you. She asked me to get close or to "befriend" you, so that I could lead you to her, point you in the right direction, if you will. I readily accepted. She'd always been like a mother to me, I wanted to help her, and I thought of it as an acting challenge."

Rachel's jaw dropped. "So our entire relationship was a lie? I was just a challenge? Another accomplishment that could list down?"

"Rachel, you said you wouldn't interrupt! Just listen for a second! Our meeting at the music store was completely fabricated. I was meant to meet you there, and it was to be the start of our "friendship" and it was step one in the plan. Sure, I wasn't completely into you, but you were good looking enough, you had a spectacular voice, though lacking in certain aspects, and you were driven. You reminded me of me."

He took another much needed breath.

"I had to somehow gain your trust first though, and when you came to me and told me that your fellow glee clubbers had threatened to kick you off, I knew that I had to move to McKinley, to prove myself to you, because I could see that your image was very important to you. At that point, I begun to care more than I should have. Time went by, and then the 'Run, Joey, Run" incident occurred. At that point, I had really started to care; more than like, but not enough to be love. From that moment on, I knew that I had to get you closer to finding out about Shelby. I had to get out because I couldn't afford to get too attached. I planted the tape, that day in your room, I made you listen to it by the end of the week, and then… I left." Jesse concluded. "A few days later, _Another One Bites The Dust_ was performed in your auditorium, you were egged, and I knew it was over."

"But why? Why did you do all that?" Rachel was in tears. She was confused and relieved at the same time. At least she knew it wasn't because of her. "I thought it was _my fault._"

Jesse suddenly grabbed Rachel's hands in his and held them to his chest, looking her dead in the eye.

"It was _**never**_your fault. Never. Don't think for a second it was." Jesse's voice oozed sincerity and vehemence. "This is _**not**_ your fault Rachel Barbara Berry. I'm sorry that it came down to what happened."

"I don't understand. So basically, dated me, broke my heart, and then egged my so that I could meet my mother?"

"Yes, actually, that pretty much sums it up. I can't say that I never meant to hurt you, because I didn't take it seriously at first. You have to understand, I may already have a full ride to UCLA, but I relish the thought of perfecting my skills as a performer, and you were the ultimate test. I was never meant to care." He paused, took a deep breath, "But I do."

"No! No you cannot pull something like that Jesse St. James! You can't try to win me with your adoring blue eyes and beautiful words! It doesn't work that way! Maybe it did before, but not now. When you… did what you did…" Rachel couldn't bring herself to say what he did out loud, "I was completely wrecked… am completely wrecked. I am a shell of myself."

"I know, and I'm sorry." That was the first apology that came from his mouth that day, probably ever. He actually had the decency to look like he meant it, his hands still holding hers to his chest.

She pulled her hands away, knowing that she wouldn't be able to stop herself to doing something she would regret if she still had physical contact with him.

"Sometimes 'sorry' isn't enough Jesse" She said looking at her shoes.

He put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up. "But sometimes it is." He began to lead his head forward and was exceedingly happy that Rachel had closed her eyes and begun to do the same thing.

Rachel wasn't thinking clearly, she actually wasn't thinking at all. The second his soft lips touched hers, she was lost. She threw herself completely into the kiss. Her arms wound around his neck, his around her waist, and when his tongue came out to seek entrance, she granted it without a second thought.

Tongues melding, teeth crashing together, it was definitely one of the best kisses Rachel had ever experienced. Of course all her best kisses were with Jesse, but this made top 5 no question.

She suddenly remembered who she was kissing. All the pain he had caused her, all the heartbreak. She tried to pull away, despite her heart's objections, but he wouldn't let her. One of his hands left her waist and went behind her neck, keeping her in the kiss. She placed her hands on his chest and slowly pushed him away.

"Jesse… we can't. _**I **_ can't. It hurts so much every time I think of what you did. What Vocal Adrenaline did to me. I still can't trust you, no matter how much I want to."

Her stomach suddenly started to turn again. She tried to push the bile down, but to no avail. She extricated herself from the warmth of Jesse's arms and ran to the bathroom to throw up.

"R-R-Rachel? Are you okay? You've thrown up twice since I've been here." Jesse asked with concern lacing his voice.

"I'm fine. I probably just have a stomach bug." Came Rachel's reply once she came out of the bathroom.

They both walked back to the couch, silence in the air. _Awkward._

"Rachel, I know that I hurt you a lot, but you can't deny the chemistry we have together. Not only when we're singing… but just being together now… it's indescribable." Jesse breathed out.

"Jesse" tears were streaming down her face. Wow she was crying a lot lately. "I can't. You're leaving soon, and I'm still hurting from what you did _yesterday_! It just happened yesterday. I can't trust you. How do I know that this time you're actually here for me and not for your team? They talked you into egging me." She was at a loss. All she wanted was to run back into his arms and kiss him the way she did a few minutes ago, but… she couldn't. "I need some time." She looked up into his beautiful blue eyes.

He sighed. "Okay." He brought his hands to cup her face. He lightly, but tenderly kissed her, lingering for a few minutes. He was happy she didn't pull away. "I love you, you know?"

"You do?" she said doubtfully, looking down and shuffling her feet.

"I do… I should probably leave then. I don't think your dads would be too happy to see me here." He said letting go of her. She missed his warmth already.

She laughed lightly. "actually, they love you. They said, and I quote, 'You two are perfect for each other. You'll work it out.'"

"See, I knew I liked your dads!" Jesse laughed while he and Rachel walked to the door.

Rachel opened the door and Jesse walked through the frame. He turned around to face her, and grabbed her hands in his and kissed them.

"I'll talk to you soon. Please don't avoid my calls."

She nodded. He let go of her hands and turned to leave. She seized his closest arm and he turned around.

"I love you too." She said quietly and smiled at him. He smiled back, winked, and walked to his car.

Rachel walked him drive off. Her heart was both heavy and light. She was elated that he loves her. Present tense, not past tense. But she still wasn't willing to let her heart go like that, again, and so soon. _I mean it happened _yesterday_! _

She went back into the house, locked the door [her dads told her to always do so as a precaution], and called her mom.

Shelby picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"

Rachel was about to answer, when another splitting headache came, and this time it was so painful that she passed out from the pain.

"Hello? Rachel? Hello? RACHEL?" Shelby's frantic voice came over the phone.

* * *

SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER! Next chapter you'll find out what's wrong with her! I'm so excited! It's in the process of being written already!

Shelby's here! In this story, Shelby and Rachel are going to get close, their relationship is going to develop into a close one.

AND JESSE'S HERE! I loved writing this! I hope I got Jesse's character right. Please tell me if I didn't! ALSO please tell me if I should change the rating because of the language and the little make-out session… and there will be more to come. I promise ;)

This was my longest chapter yet! Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 is finally here! Sorry it took so long, I just wanted to make the most of this chapter. Sorry if it isn't as dramatic as you'd like it, I really tried! You find out everything in this chapter! And further explanations are coming soon! I hope you enjoy it!

Same disclaimer applies

And thanks and a big chocolate-chip cookie to all you reviewed, alerted, and added this story to their favorite!

**

* * *

Chapter 5**

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

The constant beeping was all Rachel could hear, and she didn't like it one bit. The sound was annoying, it reminded her of dripping water. Eyes closed, she thrust out her hand and started looking for the alarm clock on her bed side table, however, her flapping arm came in contact with nothing.

_Hmmmm…. _She doesn't remember remodeling her room, or at least moving her night table. She reluctantly and grudgingly opened her eyes. She sees nothing but white. The entire room was white, and there was nothing there but a table, and empty chair, and the stupid contraption that was attached to her and beeping.

Rachel Berry began to panic, and when she panics, it's not something that can be ignored. She begins to hyperventilate, her heart-rate speeding up, multiplying by a good 10 times, and you could tell because the beeping also began to increase. She tugged at the tubes and needles attached to her while releasing little whimpers of fear and pain. She starts to scream and shake, as though she's convulsing.

Suddenly, there are people dressed in white running into the room, one carrying a syringe with a clear liquid and the others checking the beeping contraption, another magically pulled out a chart from the foot of the very uncomfortable bed. The nurse with the syringe injected it into the tube that was connected to her, and she began to calm down, albeit, against her will.

There were tears streaming down her face, she had a spitting headache, and she was confused. "W-w-where am I?"

"You're at the hospital sweetie, but you need to calm down. Your heart-rate's spiked and it's uneven. It's not healthy." One of the nurses said in a soothing voice. "Don't worry, your dads are coming and your regular doctor is on his way as well."

Rachel began to relax, and her dads came into the room, scared looks on their faces. They were both pale, very pale, and they looked like they'd been crying for hours.

"Oh Rachel. Honey, how are you feeling?" Leroy Berry asked his daughter, taking the empty seat next to her bed, and clutching at her hand.

Hiram Berry was on Rachel's other side, clutching her other hand tightly, very tightly. Both her parents had very worried looks on their faces, faces that led Rachel to believe that there was something _**really**_ wrong.

"Dad… Daddy… what's wrong? Does it have to do with me?" Rachel asked quietly.

"Honey, let's wait for Doctor Ried. He hasn't really told us anything, saying that it was best he tell us all at the same time. Speak of the devil…" Leroy's voice trailed off. "Hi Doctor."

"Hello everyone. Rachel, it's nice to see you awake." Dr. Ried spoke kindly to her. Almost too kindly, in a voice that meant trouble.

"How long was I out? Who brought me here? What happened?" Thousands of questions flooded Rachel's mind, which wasn't good; her head was already spinning and hurting, which made her headache worse.

"So, let's get down to business… have you been experiencing terrible headaches, extreme vomiting, drastic mood swings, sudden cravings and such?"

"Yeah, you pretty much hit the nail on the head, Doctor. I've been experiencing all of that." Rachel said thoughtfully. A realization came to her. "Am I PREGNANT?" she screamed out.

"What? Pregnant? You've been having sex? With who?" Hiram was frantically looking at Leroy with questioning eyes, silently asking _"Did you know this?"_ Leroy shook his head and stared at Rachel.

Before anything could be said about pregnancy, Dr. Ried interrupted them. "No, Rachel. You aren't pregnant. That's definitely not one of your concerns." Rachel visibly sighed with relief.

However, Dr. Ried was thinking of how to carefully approach the next question he was going to ask. "Mr. Berry and Mr. Berry, we had to take a paternity test for this, and we also called in Ms. Shelby Cocoran because she certainly needs to know about this, and a few questions have to be asked."

Shelby walked into the room, concern etched on her face. She looked at Rachel with relief; she was okay, so it seemed. "Hi Rachel." She gave Rachel a tight squeeze and sat on the foot of her bed and faced the doctor.

"Okay, judging from the paternity test, Rachel's biological father is Leroy, and obviously, Shelby is her mother." Dr. Ried said. "We drew a sample of Rachel's blood, took her to get an x-ray and an MRI, for safety purposes… So, Leroy, Shelby, do you have any genetic diseases that run in the family… particularly bad ones, possibly fatal?" He asked carefully, gauging their reactions.

"Um… I think the only genetic disease in my family is diabetes." Shelby said unsurely.

"In mine… we had was Tay- Sachs, but that's only fatal between the ages 2 and 10 years old." Leroy replied. "Nothing else comes to mind."

Four pairs of eyes looked at the doctor. All four were terrified and confused. Three were worried. One was nervous and completely on the brink of freaking out if she didn't find out what was happening.

"I'm so sorry. Mr. Berry, Mr. Berry, Ms. Corcoran, Ms. Berry… but Rachel, you have a brain tumor."

Simultaneous gasps of fear and pain were heard throughout the room. Rachel's heart-rate began to speed up again, she stared at the doctor, unsure of what he had just said. Tears were leaking out of Shelby's eyes. Both her dads were staring at Dr. Ried; mouths open, eyes bugging out of their heads, tears threatening to come out.

There was complete silence in the room, until her parents, all three of them, bust out with questions.

"_How? Why? Is it malignant? At what stage is it at?_ An endless amount of questions was asked.

Rachel suddenly felt the pressure push down on her. Her shoulders were so heavy, her head was killing her, she had no energy to stay awake anymore, and welcome blackness fell upon her.

* * *

Rachel finally woke up again and saw her mother sitting in the uncomfortable chair next to her bed, sleeping. She looked around the room, and her dads were outside talking to Dr. Ried and some other Doctor.

Shelby began to shuffle, blinked several times, and woke up to see Rachel awake fidgeting with her hands and the bed sheets, still confused, none of it has sunk in yet.

"Rachel." Shelby whispered, in pain almost. "Aww, honey." She went to hug Rachel tightly. The daughter that she had just re-connected with was just diagnosed with something that could develop into cancer. She'd had so little time with her, only a handful of special moments in her recollection. Some were over dinner talking about boys… well, a certain _boy_… some were at Shelby's house hangout, and some were at the Berry Residence with the Berry men, Rachel and Shelby, singing karaoke.

"Don't worry Rachel, we'll get you better. Your dads and I will get you back to full health." Shelby said vehemently.

Rachel silently nodded her head, blankly staring at her mother. "M-m-m-mom? What's going to happen to me now?"

"We don't know yet sweetie. Your dads are still asking Dr. Ried some things, details about the severity of your condition."

Just then, Rachel's dads, solemn faces, and two doctors entered her room. One of the doctors was Dr. Ried, and the other she didn't recognize.

"Rachel, this is Dr. Hellerman, he's one of the doctors in the Oncology unit in a district close by. He's one of the best Oncologists and Neurosurgeons in the Midwest. He's going to be your doctor while you work against the brain tumor." Dr. Ried explained in a calm voice, not wanting to scare the poor girl even more than she already is.

Dr. Hellerman stuck his hand out to Rachel and shook her hand, repeating the action with Shelby.

"It's very nice to meet you, although in such a terrible circumstance. I'll do my very best to get you well and back to normal Rachel. Your tumor is located on your frontal lobe, which would explain any mood swings you have had, your splitting headaches, any frequent urinary problems is also caused by this. Now, there are many things to be careful of because the frontal lobe is a very important part of the brain. Some of the things that it controls are recognizing the consequences of your actions, suppress unacceptable social responses, and determine similarities between events or things. They also play an important role in retaining long term memories that are associated with emotions. Some of the things to watch out for are short-term memory loss, seizures, one-sided paralysis, as well as, impaired communication with others." Dr. Hellerman concluded his long list of daunting and terrifying facts.

Rachel absently kept nodding her head. She didn't want to know all this; she didn't want to know that she could lose her short-term memory, or could possibly be paralyzed, or any other thing that could happen to her as a result of this sickness. She just wanted things to get back to the way they were… well.. sort of. She wanted to go back to the way things were a couple of weeks ago, when she was in glee, blissfully happy with Jesse, and had finally found her mother.

She took a deep breath, "So, what can we do? How do we prevent it from spreading? How do we kill it?" Rachel asked in breath.

"Well. You have a few options, surgical excursion, which means we surgically go in and take it out. One other way is, obviously, chemotherapy, and then there's radiotherapy, which is almost the same as chemotherapy. It's essentially up to your parents because you're not legal yet, but I'm sure that they want you to be comfortable with what's going to happen to you."

"Doctor Hellerman, which of the options is more likely to succeed?" Hiram asked.

"By surgically going in and taking out the tumor early, there will be less chances of the tumor spreading to other areas of her body, and because it's still in an early stage, it isn't likely that the tumor has spread, but we'll have to get an MRI to confirm that. After removing it, Rachel, you will have to undergo a couple of rounds of chemotherapy to kill any excess cancerous cells," the doctor explained, "if of course, that is the option you choose. I strongly recommend this option because it allows less chances for the tumor to spread, but if chosen, the surgery should take place very soon."

Rachel thought it over. "And what about going straight to chemotherapy? What are my chances of beating the cancer?"

"There are reasonable chances with chemotherapy, it has proven successful in the early stages of cancer, but with chemo the patient must undergo many rounds and not all of the cells will be killed at once, which gives the cancer time to spread. Also, too much exposure to the radiation will likely leave you infertile for the rest of your life. It is a very expensive process to undergo as well, every round of therapy costs thousands of dollars. The surgery costs a lot as well, with the few chemo treatments later, but it will not sum up to the same amount of money if you choose to only undergo chemo." The doctor replied, surprised at the bluntness of the 16 year-old's question.

"Can we have a minute to think it over doctor? It's kind of a lot to process." Leroy asked, "We want to weigh all the options, and we'll give you a decision by the end of the day."

"Of course, but please try to decide quickly, time is of the essence," and with that, Dr. Hellerman and Dr. Ried left the room, leaving three worried parents contemplating what to do, and one 16 year old girl thinking about how her life is going to change in the next few months.

* * *

So there it is! Rachel Berry has a brain tumor! And she's also slept with Jesse because of her "pregnancy scare". I hope the chapter lived up to its expectations! And more curveballs to come.

I think the next chapter will be her telling Quinn and Tina… and maybe some other stuff… we'll see!

Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey everyone! A big thanks to everyone who reviewed! I know everyone thought she was pregnant, and the first twist was in the last chapter. The next one is in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

Don't worry about Rachel at all! She's a tough girl, and remember, her tumor was caught in the early stage.

The same disclaimer applies! Thanks, Happy reading!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Rachel called the nurse into her room. She was alone because she told her dads and mom to go get her some edible vegan food because the hospital was unable to provide her with suitable dishes. She needed some time alone to think about what to do about her… situation… condition… she didn't really know what to call it. She thinks that it's best for her to get the surgery, it seemed less permanent than if she decided to only rely on chemotherapy.

However, that wasn't the only thing on her mind. The other thing, probably the one that was dominating her mind at the moment, was Jesse. Their conversation had left her very confused. They had both openly admitted to still being in love with each other, and that kiss they shared was nothing less than mind blowing, but she still wasn't ready to give herself like she did before. She couldn't afford to get hurt again, and given her current condition, she _really_ couldn't afford it. It would probably break her, leaving her completely destroyed, with no hope of ever recovering from it again. Another thing, how was she supposed to tell him about her tumor? _That word still left a funny unfamiliar taste on her tongue. _What was she going to do? Walk up to his door, have him open it and tell him, _yeah, I have a tumor in my over dramatic brain? _

While she was contemplating on the various ways she would tell Jesse, Quinn, Tina, and Puck crept into her head, how was she supposed to tell _them_? Yes, they were new friends that had never really appreciated her before, but now that they were friends, she couldn't bear the thought of not telling them. She suddenly felt very thirsty.

The door suddenly opened, with her Dad, that would be Leroy, carrying a bowl full, of what Rachel assumed, was steaming soup, and he also had a paper bag in his hand, which Rachel hoped was filled with some other delicious food that her empty belly could consume.

"Hi hun. I brought you some of that soup you love from that vegan restaurant you go to all the time. I also ordered some of the grilled vegetables for you." Her dad said handing her the soup and the bag. "Your mom went home to get you some clothes, and Daddy's outside asking Dr. Hellerman when you can be released."

Rachel was happily drinking her soup and eating her warm grilled vegetables. She didn't really hear what her dad was saying but just nodded to make it look like she was.

"Hi Daddy!" Rachel stopped stuffing her face to greet her other dad who walked through the door. "How long am I going to stay here for? I still need to write a paper for History, and it's due on Friday."

"You're being discharged tomorrow, Rach, but before we leave, we have to give Dr. Hellerman your decision." Hiram Berry told his daughter. "You know, the sooner the better."

"Yes daddies, I know. I've actually made my decision already. I just wanted to wait until mom was here to tell you all at the same time."

"Tell me what?" Shelby Corcoran walked through the door carrying Rachel's very bulky gym bag and the cup she gave Rachel back when they first met. "I figured you'd get thirsty sometime soon, when this all sinks in." She said laying the cup down on the table next to Rachel's bed.

"I've finally made my decision… I want to have brain surgery and kill the remaining cancerous cells in my all too dramatic head with chemotherapy. It is my final decision, and even though I am not of age, I hope you will all acquiesce." Rachel stated, with clearly no room for argument.

"Alright, if that's what you want. We'll tell the doctor right away," and with that Hiram went outside to call Dr. Ried and Dr. Hellerman to tell them Rachel's decision.

"Good, alright, we'll have the surgery scheduled as soon as possible and get right on it. However, another thing I think you should consider Rachel, and that obviously includes your dads, is moving, at least temporarily until you are fully in remission, to the district where I practice medicine. That would mean a transfer in school for you, Rachel. I think it will benefit you because in case of any emergency, I will be readily available to you, whereas here I have to travel quite a bit." Dr. Hellerman reasoned out.

"B-b-b-but where will I go to school then? What district do you live in? How long will I have to live and go to school there? Is it nice? Are the people friendly…?" Rachel's rambling string of questions was cut off by her mother taking her hand and squeezing it. Rachel looked up to her mother, who discreetly indicated with her eyes to the doctor waiting to answer her.

"Well, I live in the Carmel High area, which I'm sure you know is in the next region down, you'll probably have to live there for at least the rest of the school year and the whole of your next school year just to that we can monitor you properly. As for the people, they are generally very nice, I'm sure in every neighborhood there will be people who are not really amicable, but that's just normal."

"T-t-t-t-transfer… TO CARMEL?" Rachel began to hyperventilate. The little air that was going into her body was coming in through shallow breaths, and she vaguely felt the doctors call for a nurse. The sudden calmness she experienced made her close her eyes and drift off in a medically induced sleep.

* * *

Once again, Rachel Berry woke up to the horrid sound of beeping. She opened her eyes and saw her dads at the receptionist, because her room was conveniently located by the receptionist table, but no sign of her mother.

Hiram saw that Rachel was awake and walked back into her room. "Hi hun. We forced Shelby to go to school a couple of hours ago." He saw Rachel's look of alarm, "don't worry, we'll discuss moving later at home when Shelby gets off school. You, on the other hand, will be staying at home and resting. I've already called the school and Quinn Fabray, and told them that you weren't feeling well."

"Thanks daddy. What time are we leaving?"

"We can leave any time today. You can get changed and we can go home right now, or get some breakfast." He suggested.

"I could really go for some breakfast. I'm craving some vegan pancakes doused in maple syrup…with some green tea…" and with that, Rachel drifted off to her food paradise, not noticing the amused look on her father's face. "Alright, I have to go change, so daddy, if you would be so kind as to hand me the gym bag that mom brought… thank you!" gym bag in tow, Rachel marched…stumbled off to the bathroom.

Once in the bathroom, Rachel immediately looked in the mirror to see what she looked like. She was definitely displeased with her appearance. Her hair looked like a bird's nest that had been recently attacked by another bird, she had huge bags under her eyes that made her look like a raccoon, and the make-up that she had put on yesterday was running all over her face. Pretty much, she looked like a runaway clown from the circus.

She opened the bag, and silently thanked her mother. Inside was a comfortable looking pair of sweats, which she normally wouldn't wear, but this once would be okay, a matching hoodie, and a nice plain white top to go under it. There was also a bag filled with her basic necessities: a toothbrush and toothpaste, a face towel, her daily make-up supply, a brush, and a hair tie.

She changed slowly, trying not to fall over in the process, brushed her teeth, applied her make-up and put her hair up into a pony tail.

Walking out of the bathroom, she realized that she was wearing socks, but that she didn't have any shoes. "Hi dad," she said seeing Leroy sitting in the plastic chair, "where are my shoes?"

He laughed, happy to see his daughter getting back to normal, "They're here." He said handing her her shoes. She put them on, not so gracefully, and "jumped" up when she was done, seemingly excited to get out of the dreary hospital room.

The two men and their daughter said goodbye to Dr. Ried and Dr. Hellerman, claiming to see them soon, and to let them know if they were moving or not.

* * *

Rachel was happily munching on her pancakes, which tasted absolutely delicious, and listening to her dads talk about work, they were all avoiding the topic of Rachel's, and subsequently, their potential move. At that thought, Rachel began to wonder how life would be if she did move to Carmel High. She thought of seeing Vocal Adrenaline every day, and Jesse, and wondered how she would be accepted at the school. Would she be liked? Disliked, like she was at McKinley? Would she be ignored? How would they react when they find out about her cancer? Would they alienate her? Would they attempt to comfort her?

Another important thing that Rachel was thinking about was, what would she do about glee? She knew she had to tell the club, well… namely a few people about her cancer, and that she would be moving, should her and her parent decide to, to Carmel. Would she then join Vocal Adrenaline? Would she even be allowed to because of her condition? The thought of not being in glee pained Rachel, as it was the only thing that would get her to her imminent stardom, it was the only thing preparing her for Broadway.

Rachel and her dads finished breakfast and headed home in silence. Once they got home, Rachel made her way upstairs to her room, and she flopped down on her bed, suddenly feeling exhausted. Millions of thoughts were flooding her already preoccupied head. She began to think about the cancer that was spreading through her body, how it was endangering her life at that very moment, how it could prevent her from reaching her goal of being on Broadway, and how it could prevent her from experiencing great times with her friends, and especially how it could prevent her from ever being with Jesse again.

The thought of not being able to be loved by Jesse had her in tears. She remembered all the times she spent with him, starting with the last time they were together, yesterday. She thought of the way his hands felt around her waist, how safe she felt; how his lips felt on hers, soft, yet demanding at the same time, the way he tasted, like pure unadulterated Jesse, with a hint of mint. She thought about their first time together, how their bodies melted into one, how beautiful it was, how pleasurable yet slightly painful. How well he took care of her that night, and the night after that, and weeks later, until the dreaded "Run, Joey, Run" incident, and the egging.

All the thought melded into one in her head, almost like a series of slides being projected into her mind, one after the other, changing every second, millisecond, microsecond. The only thing every slide had in common was Jesse. Jesse St. James, the boy she loved, but also the boy she hated to love. She knew, with every fiber of her being, that she loved him so much, too much, and that she wants to be with him again, and give herself to the powerful feeling, but she was scared. So scared; scared for her fragile heart and scared of being hurt, but a new one was added, scared of not being accepted. She was scared that the cancer would drive him away, scare him off. With rampant thought of Jesse consuming her, Rachel drifted off into a fitful sleep.

* * *

By the time Rachel woke from her uneasy slumber, it was 3 in the afternoon; she had slept through lunch, and she walked downstairs, where she heard voices. They were the voices of her dads and her mother.

"Mom? What are you doing here? School isn't out yet? Does Vocal Adrenaline have rehearsal until 7 today?" She asked, albeit, rambling at the same time.

"I got out early today, and cancelled rehearsals today. I felt that this was a more pressing matter and that we needed to discuss this, the sooner the better." Shelby told her disheveled daughter, while giving her a hug. "Heard you slept through lunch, so I brought you some of that pasta that you like, from your favorite restaurant." She handed her daughter a takeout box.

"Thanks!" Rachel brought the box to the kitchen opened it, put the pasta on a plate, grabbed a fork, and made her way back to her parents, who were in the living room. She sat down, crossed her legs, and began to eat. _Hmmm… pesto_.

"So, let's cut to the chase. What do you think about moving into the Carmel High district?" Shelby asked the two Berry men. _So this is where she got her bluntness from_.

"I don't really know. I mean, work is easy to get to from both districts, for me at least," Leroy said, thoughtfully, "and if it's better for Rachel, I would do it in a heartbeat. I want the doctor to be easily accessed, and for us to be easy to get to should Rachel need him."

"Yeah, I mean work will be fine, so I have to wake up thirty minutes earlier, anything to get my Rachel better." Hiram added. "Rachel, what do you think? I know you have friends, and glee club…"

"No, I don't have glee anymore daddy. I quit yesterday." Rachel said sadly. "They were accusing me of terrible things, of not being committed and not giving my 100% and some other stuff…" Rachel shook her head, "In any case, yes, I do have friends, but once I explain everything, I'm sure they'll understand. I just want to get better." Rachel's eyes became glassy, and she willed her tears not to fall.

She was grabbed by her mother, and forced to look into her eyes, "Rachel, listen to me, you will get better, we will get you better!" Shelby told her vehemently, and from the corner of her eyes, Rachel saw her dads nodding in agreement. Shelby untangled herself from Rachel and willed her to sit next to her.

"You already know how I feel about this, I want nothing more than for Rachel to get better, and if her being closer to the doctor is better, then I'm all for it; in cases of emergency, I know it would be better to be closer to the doctor. He said that seizures are common in brain tumor patients, and they have to be taken to the hospital immediately to be monitored."

Leroy and Hiram looked at their daughter residing in her mother's arms, "Rachel, are you sure about this? Are you sure you're okay with moving to Carmel? From what I've heard, what with Vocal Adrenaline, Jesse, and the egging…" Leroy was cut off by

"Wait, WHAT EGGING?" Shelby screamed, "My students _egged_ you?" she screamed incredulously.

"Y-y-y-yes?" Rachel's response came out as a question, scared of her mother's reaction.

"Who did it? I'll have them suspended before they can even say _Queen_, TPing is one thing, but egging another person, who is a vegan no doubt…" Shelby kept rambling angrily.

"Mom" Shelby didn't hear Rachel, "Mom"…. "MOM!" Rachel screamed. "Relax, I've… gotten over it." Even Rachel didn't believe what just came out of her mouth.

Shelby raised her eyebrow, "Oh really?" she said sarcastically.

"Fine, I haven't, but I will deal with it, okay mom?" Rachel said, "It's not something to worry about, or jeopardize your chances at Regionals over."

"Sweetie, that's really sweet and all, but that isn't sportsmanlike and I have taught my students better than that."

"No, it's okay Mom, just give them a warning or something, don't suspend them." Rachel pleaded.

"Fine." Shelby said grudgingly.

An awkward silence filled the room. "So…." Leroy Berry was the one to break the silence, "are you sure about the move, Rachel?"

Rachel took a deep breath, waited a few seconds, "Yes, I'm sure."

"Alright, I'll go and call and Dr. Ried and tell them of our decision." Hiram said, "We should also start calling real estate agents to find a house for us..."

And with that, Rachel Berry was going to leave McKinley, transfer to Carmel, and get ready to kill the cancer in her brain.

* * *

And here's the second twist! She's moving! I'm very excited to start writing about her move to Carmel, and the atmosphere. If there are any suggestions, please let me know! And also, Jesse's coming back, obviously, and so will Quinn, Tina, and Puck.

Thanks so much for reading!


	7. Author's Note

Author's Note:

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry I haven't had the chance to update yet! Just to let you know, I won't be updating for another three weeks because I'm off to the States to drop my sister off at university, and I won't be bringing my computer.

I'm SO SO SO SO sorry! And also, because school is starting up, my updates will probably be less frequent; because I'm a senior this year, and I'm doing the IB Programme at school, so updates will be once a week, sometimes one every two weeks.

Again, I'm SO SO SO SO sorry!

Thanks for understanding!

-Kat


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